Choices

I've been receiving quite a few emails from guys with questions regarding the female species. Unfortunately work has been really hectic and I've been unable to do a post but I'll try to do it more regularly from now on. First email I've received was from Carlo, 22 years old,residing in Cape Town, South Africa. His email read as follows:

" Dear Melanie

Trust you're doing well. I'm facing a dilemma and hope you can assist me, my best friend's name is Leeroy and we have been friends for 5 years and are basically inseparable. We've been through so much in these years together; loss, pain, and struggles but we always knew we had each other to rely on. I've recently met a girl that I fell in love with, it's unlike anything I've ever felt for a girl and I think I truly love her. My problem is that Leeroy does not get along with her due to a shared past. He used to date her best friend and things didn't end very well. He also knows some of the things that my now-girlfriend did in the past and thinks that she's not suitable for me. I've never fought with Leeroy before but we've come to blows and are not on speaking terms at the moment. He gave me an ultimatum: it's either her or him, I love them both and don't want to lose either one of them, what do you think I should do?"

My response:

I personally feel that friendship are really important and shouldn't be taken for granted. That being said unless your best friend is also your girlfriend, there will always be issues that may or may not lead to ultimatums. You didn't specify but it seems like it's the first time in this 5 year friendship period that you're in a serious relationship and it's expected that it will take some time for your friend to adjust. The fact that he knows her and her past makes it a tad more complicated. My suggestion, based on a similar personal experience is to keep your friendship and relationship separate, don't try to get them to hang out with you together as it's been established that they do not get along. Your friend has your best interest at heart, which is admirable but he needs to allow you to live your life and if this relationship is a mistake, it's your mistake to make. Sit him down, calmly and explain it to him, it doesn't have to be either him or her, you can have both of them in your life and be happy. Hope it helps and that you're able to work this out, Regards 


PS: If you'd like to get in contact with me, kindly email me at melanie.pretorius96@gmail.com. I'll only respond to emails that require advice, no proposals. Thank you 

What men wants to know...

There are certain things about women that men will never figure out on their own, even those that claim to be experts. As per my disclaimer, I'm not an expert, I'd just like to help if and when I can. After all I'm a woman,with that being said not all women are the same, what works for one might be a total turn-off for someone else. I promise to be honest in all my responses, whether you like it or not. All my answers will be based on personal experience and/or opinions of fellow females.